🧭 Internal Family Systems (IFS) Process Summary 🔗

This is a summary of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy process outlined in Jay Earley’s book, Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Inner Wholeness Using IFS, a New, Cutting-Edge Therapy.

📑 Table of Contents 🔗

🛡️ 1. Getting to Know a Protector 🔗

• P1. Accessing a Part: To begin, either recall a recent situation where the part was activated or imagine it. You can try to sense it physically in your body or visualize it.
• P2. Unblending the Target Part: It is important to ensure you aren’t “blended” with the part. You are blended if you are overwhelmed by its emotions or beliefs, or if you can’t clearly identify your feelings toward it. To unblend, ask the part to separate so you can get to know it, create mental distance, visualize it in a container like a room, or do a grounding exercise. If the part resists, gently ask about its fears and reassure it.
• P3. Unblending Concerned Parts: Evaluate your feelings toward the target part. If you feel curious and compassionate, you are in “Self” and can proceed. If not, another “concerned part” is likely active. Ask this concerned part to step aside temporarily so you can explore the target part. Address any fears it has about stepping aside. If it persists, it becomes the new target part.
• P4. Discovering a Protector’s Role: Ask the part about itself. Listen for its feelings, concerns, role, methods, goals, and what it fears would happen if it stopped its protective role. It might communicate through words, images, sensations, or intuition.
• P5. Developing Trust: Build a trusting relationship with the protector by acknowledging its efforts. Expressing statements like, “I understand why you do this,” or “I appreciate your hard work,” can be helpful if they are genuine.

🔑 2. Getting Permission to Work With an Exile 🔗

Ask the protector to reveal the “exile” (the vulnerable part it protects) and for permission to get to know it. If the protector refuses, address its fears. It might fear the exile’s pain is too intense (reassure it you will stay in Self), that exploring the pain is pointless (explain the goal is healing), or that it will lose its purpose (assure it can find a new role).

🌱 3. Getting to Know an Exile 🔗

• E1. Accessing an Exile: Connect with the exile by sensing its emotions, feeling it in your body, or visualizing it.
• E2. Unblending From an Exile: If you feel blended with the exile’s pain, ask it to contain its feelings temporarily so you can be present for it. Consciously return to Self, visualize distance, or ground yourself. If the exile struggles to contain its emotions, ask about its fears and explain that you need some separation to effectively witness its pain.
• E3. Unblending Concerned Parts: Ensure you feel compassion toward the exile. If not, unblend from any concerned parts, which are often afraid of being overwhelmed by the exile’s pain. Reassure them that you will remain in Self.
• E4. Finding Out about an Exile: Gently ask the exile what it is feeling and what is causing its fear or hurt.
• E5. Developing Trust: Communicate your desire to hear its story and express your compassion and care. Observe how the exile receives your compassion.

👁️ 4. Accessing and Witnessing Childhood Origins 🔗

Ask the exile to share a memory or image from childhood when it first learned to feel this way. Ask how that experience made it feel. Ensure you have witnessed everything the part wants to show you. Verify that the exile feels truly understood and that you comprehend the severity of its past pain.

🤍 5. Reparenting an Exile 🔗

Enter the childhood memory as your “Self” and ask the exile what it needs to heal or change the past scenario. Provide what it needs using your imagination. Monitor the exile’s response; if it struggles to receive your care, gently explore why.

🏡 6. Retrieving an Exile 🔗

The exile may need to be removed from the painful childhood memory. You can imagine bringing it to a safe place in your current life, your body, or an imaginary sanctuary.

🕊️ 7. Unburdening an Exile 🔗

• Identify the painful feelings or negative beliefs (burdens) the exile carries.
• Ask if the exile is ready and willing to release them. Address any fears it has about letting go.
• Determine how the exile carries these burdens physically or visually.
• Ask how the exile would like to release them (e.g., to light, water, wind, earth, or fire).
• After the burdens are released, notice what positive qualities or feelings emerge in the exile.

✨ 8. Releasing the Protective Role 🔗

Ensure the protector is aware of the exile’s healing transformation. If not, introduce them. Help the protector see that its previous role is no longer needed and that it can choose a new, positive role within your psyche.

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